five times is just right

fuckin YEAH

so...
i have this old sketch book i found and theres only 6 things in the whole damn thing.
the first is an attempt to immitate explodingdogs picture :
" http://www.explodingdog.com/january2/pleaseforgivemeif.html "
the second to fifth are shit like i used to write:
"if i had one book. one empty book.
with hundreds of blank pages.
each one encouraging me, each one
edging me on, asking me to keep
going, keep up, focus and shock
them, please the world and show
up the others, with one idea, one
goal and four atempts, i'll initially
mispell every big word but persever
and make the book as proud as it
made me suceed, with both 'e's.
if i had one book, i would."

"she sat down. an hour earlier
and i would've made small talk,
but now i can't be less subtle.
sugesting other passtimes,
rather then interupting me. who is
this anyway? isn't she here with my
sister? why did she take the shower,
leaving her guest to invade my
privacy and make me uncomfortable
i don't care if you'll defend my music and
talk cute, go back home, please."

"set my cd's to repeat,
organize the table,
procrastinate with
practice and scratch 'till
i'm raw. replay memories,
searching for inspiration,
but all i can 'create'
depresses me still."

"my eyes are sore and my
nose stings so i agree
and appologize for my
behaviour and i'm tired
of it too. alright?
so turn the music louder
and bring out the yellow...
on the count of 3 i'll cheer up"

And then theres this passage from a book i really like, Eureka Street by Robert McLiam Wilson. actually there a bunch of passages bunched together from chapter one:
"all stories are love stories"
"she bristled and showed me her sharp little spines. i'm sure she understood that this would make me fall in love with her. i'm sure she know that."
"it wasn't the sex i craved. it was the joint cornflakes, the hand on my hip in the dark, some body else's hair on my pillow."
"her face was framed by the dark sky, the wide, wide river and the lights of the streets that straggled down the hill. what with the crisp cold and all that stree-lamp glitter in her eyes, it looked so great that i could only think she had rehearsed it. nipped up the previous evening with a set of mirrors and measuring tapes and worked out the best possible angle in which to make my heart stop."
"i stood on the street watching her go and thought of how difficult it was not to fall in love with people when they did things like that."
"i don't think having that childhood of mine ever really made me sad. i just think it made me fall in love with girls all the time."

wow i love that book.
that is a good book.

hey you guys should come see my school play when its on.
A Midsummer Nights Dream
i'm Puck

Today is my birthdaaaaay.
Horay. My parents got me a retro looking video recorder, but i havn't cared about making movies since grade 7. so we all laughed and then they said i could think up a new gift. But i'm going to use the camera to document dyl's shows that i can attend and Daves new band.
Dave finally got a band off the ground. it's with his best friend, his friend with plenty connections, and that guys friend who's a drummer in one of his bands.
ANYWAYS i'm really happy for Dave. They sound really good, and their recording was just a rickety little recording done in his basement of their second run of a new song. they're quite talented. in the recording Daves brother is playing the drums, but i hope the drummer lined up is as into the music as paul was.
Dave got me this gorgeous bracelet or... 'cuff' shall we say, from 'What On Earth', a store/shanty in st. laurent. it's really pretty. it's sterling silver, and it's beautiful. my boyfriend has great taste. today was a pretty awesome day. i'm excited to be able to casually say 'yeah i'm seventeen' to people .
that's the lamest thing i've ever written, i think.

yeah i don't update this thing
but i don't see anyone reading it so ... fuck you all then.

umm this dick who was stealing money from my work, and actually telling a few people he thought it was me, got fired... for 'borrowing' money. So He'd Dead.
anyways, dave and my's 11 months is coming up, which is shadowed by valentines, which is combined to my 17th birthday, which will preceed our 1 year, which is 4 days before his 18th birthday. so . exciting dates approaching.

i got wicked headphones, my ipoop broke, but my friends' girlfriends' dads an engineer wizard so he's working on it. i have faith.

mmm... my icon? that i don't think anyone sees unless i comment on them? which i don't? it's a button, a white button, with " .M. " in black. it's a moneen button. i think anyone should check out moneen. they're quite hyped up.
also, dave saw the junction open for them months ago in october or something, and he just recently bought the cd
check the junction out. they're canadian. and .. therefore, of course, ergo, concordidly, visa vie Wonderful. They really cheer you up. It's nice. i like their darkest song the most though. but that doesn't say anything about me so stop analyzing.

Um. i got a haircut. it's actually kinda just basically the same idea as i used to have it, but i was growing out my hair so that the front would be longer then before..
which is granted. but yeah i wanted a spikey back and long bangs, but less short back then before. and though i do really like the lady i went to and my hair cut.. the backs shorter then i imagined and she trimmed the bangs. but She's cool so i'm not bothered.
if you would like to refer to a picture of my head, go to http://members.msn.com/vs_maradona@hotmail.com
only if you'd like

anyways i'm going to go have a freaking bath with epsome salts

Dave bought me a Balinese (thats from Bali, a country) Cerimonial Umbrella for christmas. and a scarf and a ring.
and he loved his paints.

which was nice.

and some kid, my co worker, might've stolen $20 from my work tuesday night and if they don't know what happened i have to pay $10 'cause i was there too. that guy is Such a fuck ass.

i saw Donnie Darko and it is just... go rent it.

i'm going to buy a drum set, if my mom agrees, 'cause she said she can't stand the noise. but its a chinsey little one from St. John's, a little music store near my school, but it's cool i want it.

my friend was trying to convince me that a line from a tom petty song " it's good to get high and never come down " is true, 'cause : "it would be kinda cool, you'd be smarter then EVERYONE, and you'd know EVERTHING about everything, and you wouldn't be concerned with petty probledm that you are now"
and i said it would be the worst thing in the world 'cuase you'd constantly be confused and would never stop eating or else you would die.

HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO GO TO WORK

um. i got new glasses. aces.
and i got a cell phone from my brother, the cell phone salesman,
aaand yup i've got my sandwhich job.
christmas was fantastical as always.
i got a coldplay piano book which i'm ... using.
uuuuh.
i got the old death cab cd and i'm a little dissapointed but maybe it'll grow on me. i was hoping that if i found a band i like as much as death cab, after thoroughly enjoying their lastest cd through and through and through their old stuff might be as good. and i like photo album. so maybe 'we have the facts and we're voting yes' just needs some time to grow on me.

plus if you guys know any cool bands, or bands you think i'd think are cool, or you think i'd like, and are keeping them a secret from me, you are honestly a mean person. that's just stupid, too, 'cause i don't even know you've got that secret, so you're not cool, guys. you're not. just tell me the damn bands.

uhhhh,
i got some paints for christmas too but they're being really hoity-toity, so they're pissing me off

NINE MONTHS.



what a absolute perfect boy

yea so it's official. subway sandwhich artist.
first two shifts were 8 hours on saturday and sunday. the manager thinks i'm fantastic
she said i trained faster then anyone else besides her.
but i think she just didn't want me thinking i'm better then her...
which i bet 4 bills i am
wink wink
my first paycheck will be over $200.
which Definately covers daves $114 present.
I'm so relieved. i'm getting paid before the end of school so i can get good gifts like i wanted to
aaah if there were happy smile faces i'd put TWO.
TWO.
and i was having a rough day 'cause dave went home sick and this girl was giving me a stupid look 'cause i was talking to a friend who's a Boy, which i must not do if daves not there! 'cause then i like him or something and am cheating on dave! since i dont really like him 'cause hes not perfect for me!
..Whaaat?!!
anyways stupid awkward mean looks and i felt ... bad simply. and dave wasn't there for me to get a hug. i really wanted one. that girls mean.
but then the Jimmy Barry came over and kept pushing me and gave me a high five and i felt better.
then i went downtown with dave, and believe me i got a lot of hugs, as he dropped off his resumé at Steve's. i hope he gets that job, i think he'd really like it.
anyways. i want a bath.
subway is Fun

i am so a future sandwhich artist!...?

well. confirmation in 3 days max...

check out night drive - jimmy eat world
it's about doin it in a car. FAN-freakin-Tastic.

holy crap.
laura is fun and shes over and we just woke up and she was over yesterday and she was fun and is fun and holy crap holy crap holy crap.
k. i can't explain it so i'm done.

This is an update since my last entry was very So Last Year.
Umm yeah i got daves skateboard, bonus, i wanted to put a picture of it up, but ummm i have a mac and i'm not totally sure how to do that??
anyways. its green. simple and green. lovely.
Laura, come to brittania so we can try to skateboard in the frank ryan park! Fuck! Come On! Who wouldn't want to come down, down down down dooooown to low brow low class Brittania??
...i live in upper brittania?
i don't think i know how to spell brittania. maybe its britannia

anyways, my brother gave me a freakin patch chord so i can play my electric and hear something other then metal strings fuckin around,

aaaand my art class kicks ass and my art teacher kicks more and it makes every day just a little more fantastic. im enjoy notre dame more.
and david is of course a major attraction.
Major.
and im pretty sure im done updating! Except my mom bought me 'Hey Nostradamus!" by Douglas Coupland which is supposed to be good, an International Bestseller, so Bonus im excited.

so i decided to spend my free time, not on the "internet" with the "msn" and all that "stuff".
i thought i'd just spend my time doing things worth while like guitar, piano and skateboarding.
'cept dave hasn't leant me his skateboard and music is just pissigng me off so much.
'cause i can't read the horse shit time signatures on the cool piano music, and the only cool piano music i have is john mayer and i'd like coldplay personally, but whatever. and guitar is just so fucking pissing me off 'cause i have no fucking clue what i'm doing and god Damnit. i don't have any basic's, and i'm not .. just... fuck. and i dont have any pics. i have half of one. its a broken one dylan left. and i try to fucking play and god damnit. and my stupid little amp doesn't have a patch cord anymore 'cause it's fucking disappeared. and i don't. have. a fucking. tuner. and my fucking piano is out of tune. so how the fuck am i supposed to tune any fucking thing? i think i know im doing something but i don't have any base to get this from. its so. fucking. frusterating.

so i go to my room and i listen to wonderful bands very loud and can't play like them and don't even have a patch cord and i can't sing for shit and i can't write any god damn thing and even the most seemingly simplest things singers sing i didn't think of. so fuck.

who's going to hate me??
EVERYONE!
i made a new email.
i am so. sorry.
but i just might keep it.
you know, i don't really like 'love_is_hell_@hotmail.com',
too many '_'s.
but that's the way it is these days
anyways me vs maradona vs elvis is one of my favorite songs by brand new.
and my names marah.
its like mara-dona.
Whaaaaat?
so anyways.
i got an email, 'vs_maradona@hotmail.com',
and i like it.
but i know how annoying i am so i was thinking about waiting a bit to add people. but if anyone who reads these wants to they can add me and save me from adding you and then you going 'who's this?' and me replying 'its marah' and then you might say something origional and clever like 'another email?? i can't keep track!' and i'll pretend that doesn't piss me off and i'll say 'haha yeah well, You Know!'

so, you know, if you feel like it.
i might add everyone in a week??
ps. i never uuse marahs@hotmail.com, or turndownthe_suck@hotmail.com for that matter. and if i ever told anyone that i had anonymolous@hotmail.com, ignor that.

just vs_maradona@hotmail.com
it's so cool...

pps i might have a job, in carlingwood, near my house, so ignor the plea earlier.

here's thje dealio.
i've got this wicked idea for a christmas gift for the david.
but i need $200 for it
and i don't have a job
and i'm going to try to get a part time job
but since i'd have to leave randomly for modeling jobs
i don't know what part time place would hire me under those circumstances

SO.
this is a desperate plea
to anyone that has a job
to see if that place of work needs any help
because i will work a lot
because i want money.
and i know that most people need a little insider to help them get a job.
[you can tell them i will increase the moral ten fold]

if no one can help me, no problem. i'm going out today anyways.
but we all know what a waste of time resumé's are...

yeah. that's right.
and yeah. that's my bed. my pillow.

my brothers friend Trevor has a real good band, the Architects. if you can you should go to purevolume.com and check them out. download some of their songs 'cause they're just ... fantastic.
and holy crap i got pablo honey by radiohead and i listened to it over and over and over again today through school. i'm stuck on that an jimmy eat world. clarity, and their new album, futures. i should maybe hope to see them when they come to capital music hall.
but seriously, check out the architects. fan.tas.tic.

i got the new national geographic. it's cover says Was Darwin Wrong? and i was interested because
1) darwins one hell of a swinger, come on, and
2) we were talking about it in history. so i flip to the page it refers me to and it says, in big letters, NO.
i thought that was quite charming.

i went to east side marios.
for dinner
and i feel like crap,
but i didn't feel like crap earlier
it took a while for the food to kick in and make me feel like crap.
it's kicked in.
but before, my brothers were making some pretty freakin hilarious jokes.
like : Why is NASA set up in florida?
- cause it's a good location, come on!
or : Why is Andre Agassi a good tennis player?
- cause he practice's, like all the time! Jesus!
or how about : Why did the band the Beatles spell their name with an 'a'?
- cause it's a pun on the word 'beat', idiot!
and there's, of course : Why isn't Justine Timberlake dead yet?
- he's only like 20, god! frag! come on!

man. and it was just like that.

a lot.

hilarious.

"is it wrong to daydream
and give your love away
when you're sleeping?"
-trevor strange